The Best Little Whore Shack in Mason County!

I mean seriously? People are pissed off because baristas at Espresso Gone Wild in Belfair (shameless plug) are wearing bikinis and pasties? Seriously? This is why people are pissed off? Are they operating in a kindercare parking lot? Maybe outside a church? Are they advertising kiddie value coffees? WTF people! Ohhh...I see. It's in an area not zoned for 'erotic entertainment'. Oh. Well then. (Big Eye Roll)

Okay. Wrap your mind around this. I am in my front yard, catching some sun, and I think to myself: "say, I could really go for an espresso right now", so I walk down the street to Espresso Gone Wild (shameless plug) for a quick pick me up. In my bikini. I am now standing at the order window, in my bikini, waiting for my java. Am I to assume I will be ticketed? Fined? I can guarantee you I can walk into any Safeway in any county in any state in my bikini and there is not thing one anybody can do about it. Granted, I couldn't WORK at Safeway in my bikini, it's way too cold, and I'm sure the company has a dress code. Which brings me back to Espresso Gone Wild (shameless plug) and THEIR dress code: bikini *check*, pasties *check*, sensible shoes *check*, umm, nametag? Eeesh. We'll just assume they are all named Amber.

I was just thinking. I probably WOULD get ticketed and/or fined for walking around in my bikini. But that's a whole other issue.

So why do business owners not have the right to use whatever means necessary to make money? We are a capitalist nation (sorry Democrats), and this business owner had a great epiphany: Beautiful young baristas in bikinis! BRILLIANT! Young, virile men in pick-ups who would not ordinarily stop off at a roadside coffee shack and order a double tall skinny mocha frapachino with whip are now doing so by the hundreds. Middle aged married men are no longer stopping off at happy hour on their way home to the missus, thereby rendering the streets safer and missuses all over Mason County more satisfied *wink wink*. (Oh yeah, it's better than porn. These girls work for tips and they are actually sweet to the middle aged married man. It's a fact--you can check.)

Meanwhile, am I going to drive through with my 4 year old strapped into her car seat in the back of my mini van on our way to Hood Canal? Probably not. But that is only because I don't drink coffee. (Audible gasp heard throughout Seattle) But if, as we were careening ever closer to Belfair, and my not-so-better-half had a yen for a double tall skinny mocha frapachino with whip, you bet your ass I'd stop at Espresso Gone Wild (shameless plug)! I would look in the rear view mirror and tell my daughter: "These are good, hard working, honest women who just so happen to have bodacious ta-tas. Remember? Like when Mommy was breast feeding." And then I would stare wistfully out the window and remember the days of my own bodacious ta-tas. (heavy sigh) And, of course, I would tip 15%.